Apparently I'm a two-year old... and a long-winded update.

So, I am prewriting this post on my computer until I have internet because it has been two days and ALREADY I have forgotten what some of the prompts are that I made for myself. I am going to bold and caps lock the contents of each post so you can decide if you want to read it or not. This will be a very long post.

TIRES AND IOWA. On Thursday morning we woke up and decided to check my tires. They were a bit low when we checked, so we decided to find a tire and lube place to make sure they were filled up correctly; I am extremely incompetent in the matters of vehicles, but I am getting better. So on the way to the place my GPS prompted us to take (again with the stupid GPS stuff), we passed a Sears Auto Center, but kept going. When we got to “Chuck’s Flashy Lube”—or whatever it was called—it was packed. We called Sears to see if they would check my tires and fill them; the man said he would, “for $99.95”. I laughed and he said, “come on in, we’ll get you set up.” So I pull in. The man servicing the tires was very nice, and even moved the car he was working on to get me in so we could get on the road. Before that, I went inside the office to let the man I spoke with on the phone know we were there. He looked at me completely stone-faced and said, “Okay, do you have the $100 we talked about?” It was silent for legitimately 15 seconds, then I stammered a bit and said, “Um, no? Do I really need it?” Then he and the toothless woman at the counter started cracking up and he said, “NAHT UNLESS YA WANNA PAYYY IT.” I said, “No, not at all. Thanks.” And we proceeded outside to get my car taken care of. I thanked them, tipped the service man $5, and we were gone.

DISCLAIMER: The following story is ridiculously embarrassing, but I am sharing it because I want to keep this blog semi-interesting and I also unintentionally foreshadowed it yesterday. You’ll see what I mean if you choose to read it. If you don’t, skip to two paragraphs down.

MOST EMBARASSING STORY I’LL EVER TELL. Remember when I mentioned that there were virtually no gas stations that sold premium in Iowa? Also, that I almost peed my pants with excitement when we found one? Well, the same is true and then some in Nebraska. Nebraska is beautiful, but it’s even more vast and rolling than Iowa (I’ll get to that later). Anyways, virtually the entire state was under construction. There were a ton of rest stops, problem being, they were all closed. Well, I kind of had to go to the bathroom. Not bad, but a bit. So we FINALLY get to a decent sized city with a few gas stations and pull into a Shell—that was PACKED. I get out to start pumping gas, and Jordan decides to go inside. Well, the gas is flowing and I’m leaning against the car when suddenly, I REALLY have to pee. Like, bad. Remember when Billy Madison said, “Peeing your pants is the coolest!”? Well, I was about to become the coolest person in the state of Nebraska. I start pacing around the car. Then I start silently praying, “Please, Jordan. Please come back outside. Please. Please gas, be full so I can go in. Please stop pumping.” I couldn’t take it any longer, so I started moving around the car some more. Why was JJ taking so long inside!? Why was my gas tank so empty? I couldn’t just half fill it up, leave my car there, come back out and fill it some more. There were people waiting to get to the pumps. Eventually, I was at the point where I couldn’t even walk. I waddled to the front of my car, and I kind of peed my pants. Not like, FULL ON or visible, but enough to where I was like, “Thank goodness I’m in Nebraska.” BUT HERE IS THE BEST PART: There was a little old Asian woman that had been watching me do the pee dance for a couple of minutes, and was staring me in the eyes as I was doing this. When it happened, she started looking to others for support like, “IS ANYONE ELSE WATCHING THIS 22 YEAR OLD GIRL DO THIS!?” I stared right back at her, daring her to react, to say something. Her eyes got very wide and when all was said and done, I died laughing. I laughed right in her face. I laughed in the woman’s face who should have been laughing in my face. Thank goodness I have an awesome sense of humor. So a bit later Jordy comes back outside, the gas is still pumping. I say, “I’m going to run inside quick” and haul butt to the bathroom. I had to stop at the counter to ask the worker if my card had been charged (the pump buttons were kind of broken) and she said, “Wellll, IIII don’ know ma’am. Didja pay fo it?” I responded with, “I tried, but the buttons weren’t working.” She said, “Well I have noooo idea if it worked fo ya thennn. I can’t see nuthin’ but what’s awn this screen. Did ya get a receipt? If it didn’t print no receipt then ya didn’ pay fo it.” I said, “okay, thanks.” As I was walking away, she kept talking to me. Useless things, obviously. So I was doing the single-head nod as I was scooting back to my car. CLEARLY, this woman did not realize I had just peed my pants and was in no mood for her snootiness. With that, we left. (I told Jordy the story at our next restaurant stop. Right after he took a bite of his food. He then gagged and said, “SERIOUSLY!? I just took a bite of food. Sick, Mia.” Also, I’m sure all of you have peed your pants in adulthood at some point. That’s why I decided to share it. Whether it be a drunken accident, or just an “I didn’t make it” accident. Mine was an “I didn’t know I had to pee until I had to pee” accident. So if you’re judging a) I don’t care and b) you must be one of the 1%ers that has never experienced this humbling event. Try it. You’re human, after all.

NEBRASKA. YOU CAN READ AGAIN NOW. Nebraska was HUGE. ATTENTION: if you are missing land, I’m pretty sure Nebraska stole it. It was crazy. I took so many pictures. Something I’ve realized about cameras, there is no way to capture the vastness or beauty of something on film. I kept telling Jordy, “Just wait until we get to Wyo. Just wait. You’re going to be blown away.”  And he was. I really don’t think there is a place equivocal to this state. There are so many different land/rock formations it is mind-blowing.

NOT VERY WELL-FORMED THEORY ON ANNOYING MUSIC. So, I spent 20+ hours in the car; I listened to a lot of music. I would switch between my ipod, Pandora, and the actual radio. Anyone that knows me knows I have ridiculous music ADD. I think the only song I listened to start to finish on the WHOLE trip were the ones my broseph played when he had radio command, and “Beezelboss”, because it’s freakin’ sweet. So anyways, this trip has given me a new theory on music. There are those songs that aren’t QUITE old enough that you would want to hear them, like: Britney Spears – Til the World Ends, Usher – Without You, anything P!nk, Weezer – Beverly Hills, etc. Then there’s those songs that you hated, but now will listen to because they’ve passed the time period to make them not so annoying anymore: Chad Kroeger/Santana – You and I, anything Daughtry, some 80’s music, Len – Steal my Sunshine, etc. There’s the songs that are new enough that you still get excited when you hear them on the radio: Nicki Minaj – Pound the Alarm, Run ‘Em – whoever sings that song, I don’t know, etc. Then there’s those songs that are just old enough but are still played ALL THE TIME to be annoying: Usher – Ooo Baby (or whatever that’s called), Everybody Talks (whoever sings that), and most other songs you’ll hear on the radio. Then there are songs that just DO NOT get old. Ever: Nicki Minaj – Superbass, Foo Fighters – DOA, U2 – Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, Skrillex – Right In/Bangarang, Operator – Jim Croche, etc. So, that’s my theory. Maybe I’ll elaborate more later.

WAL-MART, CREDIT CARD PROBLEMS, AND SHOPPING WITH JORDAN. So Jordy and I decided to go to Wal-Mart after we got everything unloaded into the apartment. I am a pretty quick shopper, I don’t really hang around. I get in and get out and that’s it. My brother is the absolute opposite of me. He wanders, asks a million questions, get’s sidetracked; I actually admire it; I think he truly enjoys the shopping experience. Which I do as well, but not when I’ve been in a car for two days straight and I just want to eat and relax. Anyways, I decided to get a TV. So Jordy (thankfully) asked a million questions and we got a GREAT deal on one. Going to check out, however, my credit card was declined. I couldn’t believe it, then I realized what I didn’t do. I didn’t change the address on the card for the bank that I worked at for two years. After I called and got that taken care of, the automated machine said I had FIVE MINUTES to make the purchase before it locked my card for good. I sprinted to the Customer Service counter and just made it in time. We left with our purchases and enjoyed a night of pizza, beer, and movies.  As a digression, the girl who rented this apartment prior to me left me a TON of stuff. We agreed on two couches, two end-tables, two lamps, and a queen-sized bed. She left me an additional TV stand, bookshelf, desk, computer chair, extra chair, ice-cube trays, muffin tin, and some cleaning supplies. Amen for awesome previous renters!

That’s all I’m going to write. Sorry it’s been such a long entry, but I’ll post about mine and Jordy’s “Chuckwagon” dining adventure and getting around Laramie next time. Love y’all!